"Good friends will bail you out of jail.
Best friends will sit next to you in a jail, and say, "Dude, we're fucked up."
I have always been more comfortable befriending boys than girls. I have the impression based on my own observation, theory and experience that being friends with boys result in less drama and less jealousy. Back in my junior high, I was always in a group with a number of other girls, and we always ended up breaking that group into a smaller group since there was always someone who betrays. It happened not only once, but a couple of times. Then, I promised myself that even when you feel that whoever you are fine being friends with, will always have a reason to turn their back on you. Therefore, I should be extra-careful in choosing people and what to say to them. In a way, it's kind of like protecting myself from being hurt again.
Less drama and less jealousy by means, in both material and lifestyle.
I never realize this: Myself, when it comes to a friend that I really am close with, I would do anything for them. Even when it's just a small thing. I don't know if it's true, but this is what these friends said to me. And I think that is so sweet of them. :)
So as I grow older, I started to have more boy friends than girls. I am used to being treated as the only girl in the group, therefore often they don't treat me differently but as one of their
boy friends. I gradually learn and know more about the "guys' world"- and my language also began to meet theirs. Not that I become interested in cars, sports, soccer games or even girls - but I became so much more familiar with their topics. And guess what I really love from being friends with guys? They don't judge. Whatever I do wrong, they will sit down and there will be this advice/counseling time. They would tell me why shouldn't I do this, what's the consequences and how to fix it. I became more comfortable in my own skin, and I love that.
However, there comes the time when I have to leave them and started a new journey of my own in another country. New friends are always been a little of my pet peeves cus I'm not good with being friends with new people. Minor traumatized, as they call it. I'm afraid that when I don't set this boundary, they would always in the end hurt or backstab with all of the power they have. I slowly started to befriend with new girls and boys. But it was different this time. Both of them have the power to, and I never thought that they would. And of course, I stopped being friends with most of them, cutting myself out of their world and however way for them to reach me.
One thing that I have never really told anyone, is that I have this fear of using the word 'best-friend' to anyone, no matter how close I am with them. Experience taught me the hard way. Once I started to overcome my fear by calling one of my good friend as my best-friend, it didn't turn out to be a forever-friend story. Yup, we stopped being friends. Well, I did stop being friend with him.
I learnt a lot from my friendship history with many. Some of them are trustworthy, some of them are hypocrites, some of them are real friends. I don't regret the ex-friends that don't turn out to be a forever-friend or just those friends-that-I-say-hi-when-I-meet-them-but-don't-hang-out-with-them; I learnt a lot of life lesson from them.
Not all you can trust; & those that stays during your down phase are worth fighting for.
xo
